Why aren't you a Trump supporter?

I don’t believe there is a fucking “president of the Virgin Islands”

It’s uncool to lurk around teenage girls’ dressing rooms

I know there’s no such thing as invisible planes

I know that if I or anyone I know commits a crime we’ll go to the clink

I don’t buy bullshit

I understand that when you lose an election you step the fuck aside and take it like a man rather than invade the Capitol while your loss is being made official just because you’re a fucking snowflake WIMP

How do you weigh in on the Vance-couch conversation?

I understand that you can’t just fucking nuke a hurricane

I don’t respect shameless hucksters who try to sell a vitamin where you have to mail in your pee

I actually pay taxes

Which branch of engineering is better: ECE or Civil?

I don’t respect a sleazeball who lies about his height just so he can lie about his weight

I don’t believe that Saudi Arabia and Russia “will vedoop bedeep uhhhh”

I have complete contempt for traitorism

Have you ever witnessed a remote beach show where hundreds of turtles crawling to the water?

I have no sicko desire to control women or have a bizarro hangup with “blood”

I don’t run and hide from a debate like a fucking WIMP just becuase some moderator asked pointed questions

Let us count the ways. Captain Obvious says:

How do atheists explain the fact that when I pray to God, I feel better and I get a feeling of comfort? Doesn’t this prove that a God exists?

I see through liars

I can count

I don’t buy made-up stories of “thousands and thousands of people dancing on rooftops”

Why are white women dating more black guys than ever?

A real man doesn’t grab women by the p***y

I’ve never tried to pretend the word would means wouldn’t

I don’t believe in asking the people of Iowa “how stupid are the people of Iowa”

What makes outside showers appealing? Why are they not commonly seen?

I don’t pretend not to know who David Dooky is just because he can deliver votes

I don’t hide in my hotel room while everybody else keeps the appointed time and place because my hair might get wet

I know the difference between Sioux City and Sioux Falls and even Sioux Center

Has anyone experienced an out of the body experience, as a child, years before you had ever heard the term or understood the implications?

I have complete contempt for fraudsters, and even less for repeat ones

Those are a few reasons off the top of my head. How ’bout you?

I know the difference between “George Bush” and “Jeb Bush”

Have you ever seen your wife being fucked?

When a reporter declines to join me in the rooftops fantasy I don’t go on stage and gyrate to mock his congenital disability

I don’t believe Nazis, Klan klowns and white supremacists chanting “Jews will not replace us” comprise “very fine people”

I took the same Oath and took it seriously

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authoritarians can get down on the floor and bite my ass, yesterday

I understand geography enough to know that Belgium is not a “beautiful city”, that Paris is not in fucking Germany, that India does share a border with China, that that border is peppered with Bhutan and Nepal, not “Button” and “Nipple”, that time zones exist, that “shithole countries” do not, that “England” and “the UK” are not the same thing, that you cannot build a wall in Colorado to keep out New Mexico, and that the Bronx is not and has never been “a very wonderful place in fucking Germany”

EVEN FUCKING MIKE PENCE understands that

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I can read

I respect women and don’t respect those who don’t

I know that sounds DO NOT cause cancer.

What’s a mistake most guys make when trying to get a girlfriend?

Fuck that piece of orange shit, fuck his idiocracy, fuck his sexism, fuck his racism, fuck his religionism, fuck his divisionism, fuck his lying, fuck his orange face paint, fuck his worship of Cult of Ignorance, fuck his Cult, fuck his jingoistic horseshit, fuck his manuipulations, fuck his toddler-age WIMPism, fuck his fucked-up values of ME ME ME and did I mention ME, and fuck him personally with a giant razor sharp dildo that’s been preheated to 204.7° F and built to the dimensions of the Washington Monument. Slowly.

I don’t cotton to rapists

I have a reading level above third grade

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I know that he didn’t run against “Obamna”

I don’t call Tim Cook “Tim Apple” and if I do I don’t deny what’s right there on the videotape because I’m too much of a fucking WIMP to handle Reality

It’s uncool to set up soft porn pics with your own preteen daughter

What is your favourite summer outfit? Why?

I don’t hold serial bankrupters in high regard

I don’t watch or listen to advertising

If someone works for me, I actually pay them

I don’t believe the way to respond to a hurricane is to call a press conference to describe it as “wet from the standpoint of water”, to distribute Play Doh, or to stand at a podium throwing rolls of paper towels as if they were bottles of ketchup

I didn’t get out of military service with fucking “bone spurs” that I paid a doctor to write

I know what Nikki Haley’s authority with the National Guard is

I respect other cultures and don’t respect those who don’t

When I go Greenland shopping and Denmark says no I don’t melt down like a fucking WIMP

I understand how hurricane paths work

I understand historical events enough to know there were no airports in the eighteenth century, that Canada didn’t burn the White House half a century before it existed and that World War Two already happened

I understand that you can’t inject bleach or light

I know the difference between “give me your tired, your poor” and “they’re poisoning our blood”

I have an acute aversion to scumbags

I have complete contempt for fakery

I have complete contempt for intentional stupidity

I know who the president of Turkey really is

Why aren't you a Trump supporter?

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